When a Supervisor Fails to Meet Your Needs

I know this is hard to believe, but not everyone has an amazing boss and even amazing bosses are flawed in some way.  When supervisors do not match our expectations for the role they have assumed it is easy to be dismissive and self righteous about their short comings.  This only increases when these individuals seem disengaged, ineffective, or even incompetent.  There is nothing worse that working for a horrible boss.  No amount of money is enough to make it worth it and when you have had a horrible boss you are willing to do and take less if it means you will be treated with care, dignity, purpose, and respect.  If you have a horrible boss, get out and get out as fast as you can.

Most people I know do not work for a horrible boss, but they do work for a good person who is not great at managing people.  It is easy to see how this happens.  Early in the career of new employees, employers often put a great deal of time into orienting, training, and supervising those coming into their organization.  As people start to be promoted or are hired for mid and high level positions, the assumption is that they have many things figured out and the top of that list is supervision.  Unfortunately, this is often not the case.

Your ability obtain a position of higher status does not mean that you "get" every aspect of that position.  New managers will be trained on computer software and systems, introduced to organizational policies, and given a manual, but supervision and management training is often assumed to be unneeded.  As a result, people are often performing high level positions with low level competence and training around the managing of staff.  While some management lessons are certain to be learned on the fly by experience, it is just as easy for managers to fall into a trap of assuming their ineffective ways must be working or else they would not have their position.

One of the most common frustrations I have seen are bosses who do not know or understand what their employee's do.  The only time the employee is noticed is when something surprises the manager or goes wrong.  The self righteous response to this situation would be to say it is the bosses job to know what their employees are doing and if they do not, that is on them.  That is factually correct, but unfortunately being right does not get people anywhere.  The better response would be to tell your boss what you are doing as often as you can, even if they do not ask.  Find ways to make sure your work, especially your best work, comes up in conversation and is made aware to your supervisor.  Supervisors who do not notice your work are usually equally bad at sharing your worth with others in the organization.  This is another function you can take into your own hands.  Learning to authentically tell your story at opportune moments is critical to developing a professional reputation.  Most of us have some job responsibilities that will not speak for themselves even if we do them exceptionally well, and without a supervisor to notice and promote your success, you must take this task on yourself.

Defiant self righteousness is a pretty common response to a boss who is not meeting our expectations.  Those feelings are usually justified by countless examples of supervisors falling short.  Unfortunately, this moral superiority does not actually make you feel better or help your situation.  You have every right to be frustrated by this type of situation and to consider it unfair, but sitting in that place will only punish you and possibility hurt your standing further.  Employees whose work goes unnoticed and are perceived unhappy are not generally considered assets to their organization, even when that unhappiness is justified and the work being done is exceptional. 

The broader lesson here is that when you have a need that is going unmet by your supervisor you should take on the responsibility of meeting that need yourself by finding alternative ways to get it fulfilled.  You will probably still feel as though you deserve more from your supervisor, but at least you will be getting closer to what you need and help yourself be more successful.