Sometimes I Wish I Could Have a Good Cry

I am jealous of those who are able to cry.  I can remember crying a fair amount prior to reaching high school and then rarely or never doing so for about a decade.  I am not exactly sure what broke the dam of tears, but I credit the end of the book Tuesdays with Morrie with making crying possible again.  As a side note, Tuesdays with Morrie might be the most meaningful book of my twenties and is one that you should be sure to read if you missed it.



I am still not a regular crier, but I have my moments.  I find that movies and music provide the best catalysts for an ocular discharge of salty fluids.  In film, a range of moments can lead to tears.  This can include people falling in love, relationship heartbreak, death, and hopelessness.  The most common source of movie tears is when I am inspired by moments of courage and overcoming struggle.  Music is very different.  Music can transport me back to the emotions from places and times in my past.  In many cases, what I feel now from the music is stronger than the emotions I felt at the time.

I am still learning to be more authentic and vulnerable with my emotions.  Rarely do I find myself in tears due to the fear, frustration, pain, and sadness in my own life.  I have those feelings, but the crying does not come naturally.  When it has happened, it is very liberating.  When I witness the emotions of others, I usually have one of two responses.  My most typical response is to try and be extremely supportive of the person crying and to create as much comfort as possible for the emotions to go wherever they need to go.  Occasionally, at my most authentic and vulnerable, I will be deeply touched by the moment and find myself in the midst of my own emotional response to it.  Thankfully, the discomfort I was taught and use to feel when someone starts to cry has all but disappeared.

I think it is unfortunate that we socialize boys and men to avoid and deny the need to cry.  I enjoy the way the Seinfeld clip above and Flight of the Concords music video below playfully challenge and mock this notion.  It is not likely that I will ever be completely liberated from my socialization as a male when it comes to my own crying, but things are moving in the right direction and who knows where I will end up.