Books That Changed My Life

Over the last decade a handful of books changed all aspects of my life.  I am a daily walker and audio books have been my constant companion (see blog post here).  They not only keep me company, but I have used them as an opportunity to push my knowledge to new levels.  A funny thing happened along this journey, I have made powerful discoveries that have helped me understand and improve myself as a teacher, student, parent, partner, teammate, leader, and manager.  These books had a transformative impact on my thinking and behavior, which excites me to wonder how many more books might be out there for me to discover.  I spent most of my 20's reading dozens of books on social justice (a story for another day), but after reading and being deeply impacted by the Tipping Point almost a decade ago, my interests expanded in some new directions.

I have been asked a number of times to put together an essential book list that helped expand the capacity of my heart, mind, and soul and below is my best effort.  I tend to be drawn to books that challenge me to reevaluate my current thinking based on a combination of hard research and personal narratives.  The best writers tell a story about how the broader world works based on research and then draw connections to the research using stories.  The books below would be especially meaningful for parents, educators, and managers.  I have grouped the books into four areas.

The Amazing Mind - I have been interested for years in how our thinking and emotions impact our behaviors.  It is so relevant to my role as an educator, trainer, supervisor, and parent.  The book that really hit home in this area was Thinking, Fast and Slow.  It is a must read on how the mind works and the tricks it plays on each of us.  It has become a guide that has helped me improve my thinking and decision making and allowed me to help maximize the thinking of others.  Nudge includes some of the same lessons of Thinking, Fast and Slow in an easier to read format with more of an applied approach focused on the reader helping other people make better decisions.  Made to Stick is my most recent read and I think it is also a must read for anyone who wants their ideas to be taken seriously.  It uses research on how the mind and emotions work in order to help people frame and sell ideas.

Shame and Vulnerability - This might as well be called the Brené Brown section.  Her two Ted Talks sparked my interest in this topic (here and here) and her books the Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly have got me hooked.  It is remarkable the role shame plays in parenting, relationships, and the workplace.  I cannot recommend strongly enough watching both Ted Talks and reading at least one of these books.  Her work has liberated me in so many ways and allows me to better accept myself, parent my children, and supervise my staff. 

Focusing on What Works - Three years ago a half day retreat about positive psychology and Strengths changed my life.  Until that point, I thought Gallup was just an organization that did political polling.  A significant portion of Gallup's research and work is focused on helping people maximize their engagement and talent in the workplace with additional focuses on leadership, learning, and wellbeing.  As a result of this different way of seeing the world, I am more productive in my work than I have ever been before and I am able to help others reach peak levels of engagement.  Gallup has so many outstanding books that I would recommend, but Strengths Based Leadership and 12: The Elements of Great Managing are by far the best.  Additional options include the Power of 2 and Wellbeing.  Also within this genre, I highly recommend the book Happier.

Understanding Motivation - As a manager and educator, there are few things more important than understanding what motivates people.  The book Punished by Rewards took on this task exceptionally well.  It focuses on how our system of trying to control people through external motivation and rewards kills the internal motivation within each of us.  The book suggests that we should create ways for internal motivation to flourish is the classroom, workplace, and at home.  The Starfish and the Spider focuses more specifically on how too much control of individuals within organizations limits its capacity for evolution and growth.  This areas of thinking has also sparked my interest in Motivational Interviewing and Coaching.

The next books on my list include (in order):
Switch
Mindset
Greater than Yourself
The Element
Out of Our Minds
The Advantage
Getting to Yes
Good to Great

If you have any strong reviews (positive or negative) of the next books on my list or a strong recommendation for a book that will continue to push my thinking and understanding of the world, I would welcome your comments to this post.

Changing the World Requires Hope and Vulnerability

The two most important attributes to cultivate in people interested in changing the world are hope and vulnerability.  Without these elements, the courage and stamina needed to work for and lead others down the long and difficult path of positive social change will likely be absent.  The ability to create social change first requires showing up.  As noted in my last blog post, this year I was introduced by Brené Brown to the following quote from Theodore Roosevelt's speech "Citizenship In A Republic" delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on April 23, 1910. 

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. "

Creating change means having the courage to show up in the arena without knowing how it will turn out.  The question is how do we encourage others to show up in the arena?  The answer is vulnerability.  Brené Brown has states that "vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change."  The birth of these things, especially social change, involves taking a risk and being vulnerable enough to act without knowing the outcome.  One must enter the arena without knowing how it will turn out.

Robert Schuller has stated, "what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"  This is a nice idea, but social change often is a greater leap of faith where failure is a frequent if not likely outcome.  Brené Brown takes it a step further by stating "what's worth doing even if you fail?"  This gets to the heart of what leads to social change, people being vulnerable enough to act in the face of possible failure.

In order to be vulnerable, people must have hope.  Shane Lopez has noted that hope is believing that tomorrow will be better than today and that individuals have the ability to influence that outcome.  Cornel West makes the point that hope is often required to pursue social change because often the evidence does not look very good.

"You have to draw a distinction between hope and optimism. Vaclav Havel put it well when he said “optimism” is the belief that things are going to turn out as you would like, as opposed to “hope,” which is when you are thoroughly convinced something is moral and right and just and therefore you fight regardless of the consequences. In that sense, I’m full of hope but in no way optimistic."

Social change only takes place when dedicated people step up, without certainty of success, and enter the arena.  Getting people to take this step requires the cultivation of hope and vulnerability.  Folks must see that their cause is just and possible with a willingness to act with no guarantee of success.

Racing to Election Day

I firmly believe we should treat every day as a gift and take nothing for granted.  This is a standard I often fail to live up to, but I am not the first person to struggles to live up to their ideals.  When it comes to election day (2 days away), I wish I could hit the fast forward button and get it over with.  I find myself prepared for either the joys of victory or bitterness of defeat.  So much of what I believe in is at stake, but the constant turn and anticipation of this process has started to wear me down.

On a national level, I am both jealous of and have pity for the people of Ohio.  It matches how I feel about Iowa every four years leading up to the Caucuses.  I am sure the constant bombardment of commercials is horrible, but having the chance to see the candidates and surrogates on an almost daily basis and know that your involvement in the democratic process will matter more than just about any other state in the union is extremely lucky.

The last couple days of each election cycle always brings me great frustration that I would rather avoid.  This is when we typically hear about some GOP Secretaries of State trying to use their power to limit or suppress the vote.  There are also individual and coordinated conservative efforts to provide misinformation about voting days, times, and locations to poor, minority, and elderly communities.  The last couple years the voter intimidation at the polls has increased dramatically as trained "poll watchers" seek to harass and intimidate Democratic voters.  While these behaviors do not represent all of the GOP, it is widespread and coordinated enough to be a stain that they are responsible for and should be ashamed of.  For a group that claims to love this country and the principles it was founded on, there seems to be a cynical disdain for the democratic process at the heart of it.

I also find myself inspired by the honest and sincere volunteers for all candidates, issues, and parties.  Whether you are with me or against me, there is something to be said for engaging in the process with your most precious resource, time.  This year I was introduced by Brene Brown to the following quote from Theodore Roosevelt's speech "Citizenship In A Republic" delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on April 23, 1910.  It has stuck me in so many ways and is especially true of those fighting these last weeks and months for what they believe.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. "

To all of those in the arena I am beyond grateful for the work you do, especially those fighting for the causes that I believe in.  Everything good that has ever come from the political process has required people to step up, put themselves out there without knowing how it will end, and drive hard towards their hopes, dreams, and ideals.  It has been an honor when I have been able to join you and a gift to know that some of you will always be there.

Good luck to all in these final hours leading up to election day.  It cannot get here soon enough.